onleaving

I wanted to talk a little about my objective and say something about myself. First of all, I’m a 36 year old woman. I work full time at one of those huge mega-banks and have a 14 year old daughter who lives with her Dad not too far away. I divorced 12 years ago and was a single parent up until this year. I currently live with my fiancée in an overly large, 200+ years old, home we bought and our 2 dogs, 3 cats, 1 lizard and of course, part-time teenager.

I never thought it would take me 12 years to find someone again. I tried repeatedly and was repeatedly let down. I thought I was too damaged to ever start again. My 42 year old fiancée, K (I will not use full names in this blog), has a checkered past that has left him equally damaged. I still wonder, day to day, if I will really be able to make this work. Or will I be left again, or will I be leaving?

At what point can we really let go of our damage and baggage and truly love again? And if you’re that damaged, how do you even know when you have something wonderful right in front of your face?

I will be exploring those issues as well as the day to day issues of functioning in this relationship and the greater world in this blog. I hope you will stay with me as I gain these insights. I promise this will be thought provoking, sometimes humorous, and good writing, or I will take this down. So here we go…..

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